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Last night, I was watching as Jake sadly stared at a picture from a few years ago..
His eyes just looked at me as if to ask a question we both know there is no answer...
So instead, I said this...
When a wave crashes against you and knocks you down you immediately scramble and get back up...
instinctively without thinking.
But what happens in the next moments is the key...
it’s a choice your head and heart make.In the aftermath of a crash.
You can walk around angry you swallowed so much salt water, feeling annoyed for the rest of the day because you have little bits of sand stuck in all kinds of uncomfortable places, and complaining why you got knocked down and someone else didn’t...
You can chose those ways, or you can let it go... Or say “WTF” or “whoa”...
You can choose to giggle at the image of seeing yourself going upside down or be proud of yourself for regaining your footing with some degree of style and grace... or even just acknowledge your bewilderment that you thought you had your footing... and you can’t believe you got knocked down...again.Often times these days I’m just bewildered...stuck in the in between.But it’s not instinct.... it’s a choice you make to literally brush it off and go back into the water again... knowing the knocks are just part of the ocean experience...
Ryan lived his life brushing it off.
He taught me to just keep moving forward...
swim stronger upstream when you have to...
push harder against the oncoming windy storm when there is no other option.
And to remember that the “downs” don’t last forever... even though sometimes they feel like they do.
In this crazy heat, I’m thinking of the ocean and the waves and Cape May...
I’m remembering the boys growing up there as we revisited each and every summer.
And being so happy that we got to experience it one final time this winter as we stayed at The Stachenfeld’s beautiful home.
Although Ryan’s favorite Martian ride was closed for the season, we saw The North Pole at Congress Hall, got to eat at Uncle Bills, walked on the snow covered sand, took pictures in front of the Cape May Bell and spent an amazing few days with our whole crew.
Ryan loved vacations. He loved Cape May.
And I loved capturing it all...
I am just unclear how it’s all
memories now...